Trust is the main underlying element of building any type of relationship. However, when it falls apart because of a number of reasons like cheating, betrayal, lying, not meeting partners’ expectations, and lack of communication, then it doesn’t mean all hopes are lost. You can regain and re-establish trust. Today, we’ll discuss how to rebuild trust in a relationship.
What Trust Really Mean
Before jumping into the discussion of how to rebuild trust in a relationship, it’s significant to comprehend the meaning of trust. How trust really feels and looks like in a relationship. However, trust is the feeling of being safe, secure, comfortable, and knowing the fact that you can rely on your partner in a difficult time. Trust in a relationship mean;
- Supporting each other
- Vulnerable together
- Respecting each other’s physical & emotional boundaries
- Not hiding things from your partner
- Listening when s/he is talking
- Feeling safe and secure
- Commitment to the relationship
Signs of Lack of Trust
When trust is on the verge of falling apart in the relation, then how it looks like. Some of the main signs of lack of trust in the relationship are as follows;
- Hiding things and snooping each others’ mobile gallery and contact list
- Questioning the actions of your partner
- Feeling insecure and uncertain
- Avoid being vulnerable to each other
- Clinging to your partner all the time and not letting him/her out of your sight
How to Rebuild Trust in a Relationship
It’s time to discuss how to rebuild trust in a relationship, some of the main suggestions and tips are as follows;
Focus on the Future
The focus of both partners should be on the future by keeping the past in the past. It means engaging in an honest and open discussion that how they should move forward in the relationship. They should openly envision futures that how they want things to be like both in terms of short and long term.
You should change your perception of seeing the relationship as a fresh start, instead of seeing it as a broken relationship. It means to try to reignite the flame and passion by learning each other’s love language so that your partner would feel loved, secure, and safe in the relationship.
You should put aside your pride and ego in the relationship and share your vulnerabilities and insecurities with your partners. When you share vulnerabilities, then it develops intimacy and brings you closer with your partner.
Ask what you need
Open and honest communication is the key to rebuilding and strengthening your relationship. If you want certain things from your partners to do in order to rebuild trust, then all you have to do is just ask. However, once the communication door is open, then you should engage in clear and open conversation.
You can Trust People
When trust falls apart, then it’s normal to question all types of relationships. While doing so, you shouldn’t get stuck in the web of negativity and seeing everything with a negative approach. You should focus on the majority of the healthy, positive, and long-lasting relationships in your family, friends, relatives, and acquaintances.
Build New Memories
Your focus should be on developing new memories with positive experiences. Such new positive vibes would reignite your relationship. The new memories should comprise smiles, laughter, joyous, and happy moments. When you add happy memories in your life, then it would make partners realize that there’s hope for them.
Learn from Past Experiences
In order to move forward in the relationship, both partners should learn something from their past experiences and accept their mistakes. It means sitting in silence and learning with empathy what may have caused pain to your partner. Most importantly, what elements caused the relationship and trust to break in the first place? After analyzing the past experiences, how you’re feeling, and thinking about rebuilding the trust.
One of the most important elements in rebuilding trust is to convey an honest apology. The thing that ruins the trust in the relationship is betraying the trust and then not accepting your mistakes. However, engaging in a deep conversation and showing remorse about your past actions is a form of apology. It helps them to move forward in repairing the relationship.
Work on Building the Relationship
You can’t move forward and rebuild trust in the relations unless the person who broke/betray the trust shows remorse and interest in rebuilding it. It means the person who broke the trust apologizes to the person who was hurt. Most importantly, both partners should be on the same page in conveying an apology and accepting it.
You should engage in open and transparent communication, and honestly answer all the questions of your partner. For instance, the reason you broke up with your partner is by hiding the information, and your feel betrayed. When it comes to repairing and rebuilding the trust in the relations, it’s important to be open and clear about things.
Give Space if needed
In order to have open and clear communication with your partner, you should give some space to your partner. It’s possible that your partner may need time to figure things out, and you should respect his/her boundaries. It would mean giving away your phone and laptop to your partner to check it out in order to prove your honesty. However, if your partner keeps on checking your things, then you should discuss it with your couple counselor.
After betraying your partner’s trust, it’s normal if your partner doesn’t want to talk about it immediately. You should give some time to your partner because it takes a different length of time for people to process things. You should apologize, and give time to your partner to process things out so that they could decide whether to forgive or not.
Why you did it?
You should critically analyze your reason for betraying the trust or cheating on it. It’s very important in repairing the trust in the relationship or not. It’s possible that you wanted to end the relationship, and cheating seemed an appropriate way. In such a case, the repairing of trust won’t work. If it was just a stupid mistake, then you can work things out.
Avoid Focusing on the Past
It’s very difficult to forgive someone, especially after cheating and betrayal. While rebuilding trust, you should focus on the future and not the past mistakes. It would be very difficult for you to let go of the past and focus on the regain of trust. It’s important to keep in mind that rebuilding trust won’t happen immediately. It’s a process and you have to prove your trust with your activity over time. However, if you’re stuck in the past, then it means that you aren’t ready yet.
Forgiveness is one of the main keys to rebuilding trust in the relationship. It means you shouldn’t only forgive your partner, but also have the courage to forgive yourself. However, if you’re blaming yourself and yourself, then you’re jeopardizing the rebuilding of trust. Sometimes, it’s easy and difficult to forgive someone depending on the circumstances. It’s important that you should give your partner a chance to learn from their mistakes.
Conclusion: How to Rebuild Trust in a Relationship
After an in-depth study of how to rebuild trust in a relationship, we’ve realized that regaining trust is an important element of developing and growing relationships. If you want to rebuild trust in the relationship, then you should follow and practice the abovementioned suggestions. If you need further guidance, then you should consult with your counselor and therapist.
Ahsan is an accomplished researcher and has a deep insight in worldly life affairs. He goes Live 3 days a week on various social media platforms. Other than research writing, he’s a very interesting person.