When you’re dating someone, it’s significant that you should be truthful, honest, and comfortable. It’s also a good time to set some ground rules at the beginning for the smooth running of the relationship. Today, we’ll discuss how to set dating boundaries, types, and tips.
What is Dating Boundaries?
Dating boundaries outline the limits of a person in the relationship that the person could bear. They allow a person to maintain their health, individuality, and needs in their space. However, they aren’t fixed, and you can change them according to your and your partners’ convenience. But it’s important to start the relationship with a clear mindset. The most important thing is open communication in the relationship.
Types of Boundaries
There are things that you don’t like and make you anxious and stressed, and dating boundaries help you to avoid them for your peace of mind. There are various types of boundaries that you should keep in mind while dating are as follows;
Intellectual boundary means respecting the difference of views, ideas, and beliefs of each other’s partners. The person you’re dating would have a different background, political views, and belief system. However, it doesn’t mean that you have to agree with your partner on everything.
The disagreement is also fine as long as you “agree to disagree” on things that are a deal-breaker. If your values aren’t matching and your partner doesn’t respect your views, then you end the relationship from the start. They would create a bigger mess later in the relationship.
The material boundary in the relationship means finances and assets. Money is a cautious subject in the initial stages of dating, and perhaps it won’t even come up. You should keep in mind the person paying for the meal, and the person forgetting the wallet at home every time. When it comes to building a long-term relationship, then you should discuss the financial matters in detail to make the big decision.
You should discuss the separate income, and how you’re going to divide the cost of bills, rent, and other household things. Both partners should be on the same page in terms of financial matters, and everything should be clear upfront. Otherwise, you’ll end up paying for everything later.
Emotional boundary means validating and respecting your and your partner’s feelings. It means separating your partner from feelings and emotions from your partners. You allow their moods and emotions to control you, and you won’t compromise your comfort and wellbeing for their satisfaction and pleasure. It means that you set your emotional limits.
Sexual boundary means your convenience when/where/who you have physical intercourse with, and the type of contraceptive that you should use. It should be according to your consent. It also comprises your comfort level during the physical intimacy, using names, comments, and positions. However, if you want to explore sexuality and role-play the fantasy, then you should discuss it with your partner and bring him/her on the same page.
Physical boundary comprises of personal space, physical touch, your body, kissing, cuddling, hugging, and holding hands. The privacy of your body and your things also falls under the category of physical boundary. For instance, if you don’t want your partner to check out your phone that you don’t like, then you should speak up because you have got the right to privacy. If you don’t want your partner to stay with you at night, then it’s your boundary.
How to Set Dating Boundaries – Tips
Some of the tips that you should keep in mind while setting dating boundaries are as follows;
You Decide your Feelings
You should take your time for setting up the ground rules, even if it requires taking some time off, then you should do so. Problems arise when people set up weak boundaries, and they get mixed up in the relationship without notice. Therefore, you should take some time off, reflect on your relationship, and check-in with yourself whether you’re making difference in the relationship or not.
Play in Neutral Field
If you want to discuss something serious like physical intimacy, then you should do so at a neutral timing and place. It could be a coffee shop, restaurant, or park depending on the topic. If you haven’t decided the topic and aren’t disagreeing on anything, then neural spot would be a level playfield.
You should brainstorm about things that you want and non-negotiable for you, and they would make you feel comfortable and at ease. They could be like physical touching, proximity, and others. You should recognize such non-negotiable factors in your personality, and they would help you to define your compatibility.
After discussing your needs and requirements, you should carefully listen and your partner deserves your undivided attention. If you don’t understand, then ask questions for clarification. For instance, if you agreed to something said by your partner that you haven’t understood, then it would come up later.
Be Good to Yourself
While setting dating boundaries in order to protect yourself, it’s a good thing. If it results in the form of conflict, argument, or feeling of guilt, then you should take care of yourself by meditating or practicing yoga in order to clear your mind. You shouldn’t feel bad for speaking up for yourself. If the other person makes you feel bad this way, then you should stay away from that person.
Conclusion: How to Set Dating Boundaries – Tips
After an in-depth study of how to set dating boundaries; its types and tips; we’ve realized that setting grounds rules are important for a long-term relationship. If you’re establishing setting limits, then keep in mind the abovementioned guidelines and tips.
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