How to Stop Being Shy in a Relationship – Tips 

In order to develop a deeper connection and stronger bond in a relationship, it is significant for couples and partners to engage in conversation and share their thoughts and feelings. It becomes difficult for you if you are a shy or nervous person. The shy attitude would make you stay in your comfort and keep people at arm’s length. Dating and social gatherings scare the hell out of shy people and they don’t feel excited about going out and meeting new people. Today, we’ll discuss the top tips on how to stop being shy in a relationship.

How to Stop Being Shy in a Relationship – Tips 

Some of the main tips on how to stop being shy in a relationship are as follows;

Find out the Main Reason

Every person has a different nature and different people are shy because of various reasons. Some people are shy since their childhood and others are shy because of different experiences that they have gone through. Many professionals and experts have suggested some of the top reasons for shyness, and they are as follows;

  • Family trouble and other family issues
  • Bullying
  • Trauma
  • Childhood experiences
  • Experiences of life
  • Genetic
  • Parenting style

For instance, if your parents and caretakers used to stop you from going out and social gatherings in your childhood, then it would be difficult for you to connect and engage with people. Usually, shy people are the product of strict and controlled parenting. If you have faced a lot of rejection and criticism, then you would avoid exposing yourself in those circumstances.

Hesitant or Shy or introverted

It is significant to know the difference between shyness, hesitation, and introversion. Often, people use the terms shyness and introvert interchangeably. An Introvert is a type of personality trait that focuses on the person’s thoughts and feelings rather than external factors. However, social anxiety is a mental health condition and it comprises various types of fears like fear of being judged, criticism, rejection, and disapproval.

When you have got the fear of rejection or disapproval, then you start avoiding various types of social gatherings. Shyness is similar to social anxiety to some extent, but it doesn’t completely fit the criteria. However, it is difficult for a shy person to start, but it becomes easy over time when feeling comfortable around other people.

Recognize Trigger Points

The first step to managing and dealing with your shyness problem is to recognize the triggering points that cause the shyness problem. You should keep in mind why, who, and what it is that causes shyness while analyzing the triggering factors. It is important to know whether you feel fearful in front of new people or facing a crowd. Once you are aware of your triggering factors, then you can easily prepare yourself for how to deal with such a situation.

Know How to Behave in Difficult Situations

Once you have recognized the triggering factors, it is now time to develop a plan for managing the different shy situations. For instance, if you are going to meet a new person, then you should sketch a plan that how you are going to talk to them step by step;

  • Saying hi
  • Introducing yourself with your name
  • Asking their name
  • Talking about the weather or the place you are in

I completely understand that things would unfold themselves differently in real life. But if you have got a plan, then it would boost your confidence level.

Shyness Can Be Strength

Instead of deeming shyness as a problem and weakness, you should change your perception and consider them your strong suit. If you are not going out in public places, then you are protecting yourself from facing potential threats, but now you are ready. However, when you analyze shyness from a different perspective, then it would boost your self-esteem and confidence level.


The best way to deal with the shyness problem is to conduct a thorough research about the people you are going to meet or the place you are going to visit. For instance, if you are meeting someone new in the other city, check out their profile on social media, and check out Google Maps to beware of the layout of their place. The research doesn’t have to be deep and thorough like academic research, just enough information to start the conversation and know about them a little.

Eye Contact

Maintaining eye contact and actively listening to them is the best way to way to initiate the conversation. Strong and passionate eye contact would let your partner know that you have got a confident personality; you are showing interest in their conversation and listening to them actively.

Know Your Objectives

In order to deal with your shyness problem, you should focus on yourself and your goals and objectives in life, and not the perception and views of other people. Once you have the plan, then you should avoid the views of others that may jeopardize your plan. You may feel that people are thinking and talking about you, but the reality is that they don’t have time to care about your views.

Discuss Things

The other best strategy to deal with the shyness problem is to communicate and discuss things with your partner. You should find a mutually interesting topic and discuss things with your partner. The discussion doesn’t have to be deep, a light chat on various topics would be sufficient.

Ask Questions

One of the simple strategies to deal with the shyness problem is to ask questions. It allows you to engage in a deeper level of conversation. Asking questions would help you to listen actively, respond on time, and say whatever is on your mind. If you are meeting a person in a hotel or park, then you should ask them about that place and their experience about it.


A smiling face would create your impression of a friendly, accommodating, and approachable person. it makes your partner feel easy and allows them to engage in a deeper level of conversation with you due to the impression.

Avoid Pretending

When you have got a pre-decided plan of talking and behaving in a certain way, then it doesn’t mean that you need to pretend about things. Pretending makes you feel confident and bold for some time, but it makes you feel exhausted in the long term. Therefore, you should follow the natural approach.

Express Your Vulnerabilities

Often, shy people face the problem of expressing their insecurities and vulnerabilities to other people. The first step to dealing with your shyness problem starts with open communication and letting yourself out there. You have to tell your story and background that you are a shy person and how you have paved the way and overcome your fears.

Self Care & Self Love

Self-care and self-love would help you to improve your confidence level. For instance, it could be in the form of having a new haircut, a massage, going to a spa, new clothes, or a new style. When you do the things that you love and take care of yourself, then it boosts your self-esteem and self-confidence level.

Consult With The Therapist

If you find it difficult to diagnose the triggering factors and you don’t know how to start the conversation, then you should consult with a trusted therapist in your area. A professional therapist would help you to deal with all types of challenges that you are facing.

Conclusion: How to Stop Being Shy in a Relationship – Tips 

After an in-depth study of the top tips on how to stop being shy in a relationship; we have realized that removing shyness or hesitation requires a lot of effort. If you are facing the problem of managing and overcoming your shyness, then you should keep in mind the abovementioned tips and guidelines.