What is Love-Hate Relationship? – Signs, Causes, Exploration

 Perhaps you would have seen some couples that fight, hate, love, and make up with each other and the whole process keeps on happening repetitively. It may seem exciting and thrilling with strong emotions, then you ask yourself whether it’s the right relationship for you or not. Today, we’ll discuss what is love-hate relationship; its causes, signs, and exploration.

What is Love-Hate Relationship? 

It’s a form of relationship that has strong feelings and emotions and both partners love and hate each other with the same intensity. They’re loving and kind at some moments and become fierce enemies the other moment.

Couples and partners say a lot of harsh words to each other in some moments that they don’t mean. In those fierce moments, they just can’t stand each other and would like to end the relationship, but they don’t do it. Such relationships have trill, excitement, and exhaustion, partners should explore the negative side of it like aggression and frustration to have some passion.  

Signs of Love-Hate Relationship 

Some of the main signs of a love-hate relationship are as follows;

Feel Blessed in Your Life

The intensity of emotions defines such relationships. In some instances, you like certain qualities of your partner like helpful nature-focused in life, and dynamic, and it makes you feel the luckiest person. It doesn’t matter how hard you try, you have a great attraction to your partner because of certain traits.

Can’t Stand Them

Some traits in your partner like laziness, short temper, and ego are too much for you, and you can’t stand it. They’re the main cause of resistance between you and them, and it makes you feel in some instances that you made a great mistake by committing into the relationship.

Repetitive Makeup & Breakup

Both partners love and loathe each other with the intensity of great passion. When they fight, they do so with the same intensity by name-calling and threatening each other with a breakup. They’re highly repulsive in such heated moments.

Partners have a change of heart at the end of the fight, they forgive each other and forget about the fight and makeup. The shower of loving feelings is temporary, and the cycle of makeup and breakup keeps on revolving.

Relationship a Challenge

You have a great attraction to your partner because of the charming traits. When the negative traits come up, they push you to the corner and make you finish the relationship. You have invested much time and energy into the relationship and so much goodness is there, and it’s difficult for you to let go. Therefore, it’s a constant challenge for you to maintain the relationship.

No Direction of the Relationship

Other couples and partners are understanding and supporting each other and their relationship is heading in a certain direction. All of you do is fight, break up, and then makeup without any direction. However, you don’t know the future of your relationship because of the mixed emotions and feelings. The reason you’re there in the relationship is that you don’t want to be single.

Unhealthy Emotional Connection

Partners don’t have sufficient love in them to accept the flaws, and it prevents them to connect with each other emotionally. They have the image of a perfect girl or boy in their mind, and they’re running after it instead of accepting the reality. Whenever a good thing happens, they’re showering with love, and loathing feelings with negative traits.

Emotional Baggage

The main reason for conflicts and fights between them is because of no deep emotional connection. For instance, you’re angry at your partner for not cleaning the house or paying the bills. Instead of discussing the problem, they dig up a series of unresolved issues. When such a build-up of anger, hatred, and resentment explode, then it creates a lot of frustration.

Not Talking to Each Other

When you aren’t sure about the attitude and behavior of your partner and you won’t know how your partner would react. Therefore, you discuss your relationship issues with your friends and relatives. Perhaps, they would help you to fix your issues, or you want their support and validation.

What is Love-Hate Relationship

Causes of Love-Hate Relationship 

Some of the main causes of love-hate relationships are as follows;

Past Volatile Relationships

People that have volatile and chaotic relationships experience in their early life, they perceive conflict as a way to express their emotions. Conflicts and fights are a way to attract the attention of their partner, and intimacy they experience after the resolution by rupturing the relationship, they can’t have it in any other way. They perceive stable and quiet relationships as boring.

The idea behind such relationships is that pain and tension bring partners closer because they’ve learned it through their previous experiences. They don’t realize the fact that they can strengthen their relationship through open and effective communication. However, the good thing about such relationships is that the partners know how to work things out at extremes.

Unworthy of Love Feelings

People involved in such relationships, may have their vulnerabilities and insecurities like they have the feelings of being unworthy of love. When they’re in such a relationship, then it reinforces their belief about their insecurities that they don’t deserve it.

In fact, the reality is that if your relationship isn’t struggling in daily life, then it doesn’t mean that your relationship isn’t meaningful and valuable. You don’t need proof of sacrifice that you aren’t doing something for the relationship.

Exploring Love-Hate Relationship-Resolving Tips

In order to explore and resolve love-hate relationship, you should follow some of the following steps;

Being Aware of your Emotions

You should be mindful of your emotions and toxic cycles of the fight, breakup, and makeup. In order to do this, you should start labeling your emotions, thoughts, and reactions, and put down your feelings and emotions on the paper. It would allow you to process your emotions, and you’ll see new perspectives that you haven’t considered before.

Setting Boundaries

You should create a list of things that aren’t working for you in the relations, and take some actions so that they won’t happen again in the future. In order to regain control over your life, you should set some boundaries, so that you have to tolerate things that you don’t like.

Ask for Help

People in such relationships don’t have the social support of friends and family that could affirm their experiences and offer them support and guide to resolve their issues. Usually, partners don’t have a clear position and perspective on the relationship, and it makes them follow the biased approach in the relationship.


You don’t have to break up and finish the relations. You have control over the relationship in the form of how you participate in it. First of all, you should recognize your role and take in the relationship, and make small changes in your behavior in terms of dealing with the conflict, and notice whether your partner is responding to the changes or not.

Conclusion: What is Love-Hate Relationship? – Signs, Causes, Exploration 

After an in-depth study of what is love-hate relationship; its signs, causes, exploration, and resolving techniques, we’ve realized that such relationships occur because of idealism. If the partners are realistic and accept the fact that not everyone is perfect, then they would accept the flaws of others.