When we talk about love or lust, then people usually have experiences with either one of them. Some of you may agree that it is rare to experience both feelings and emotions in a relationship. Today, we’ll discuss what is the difference between love and lust; its signs, and how to express your feelings.
Whether you consider your relationship loving or lustful, or even you want to learn the difference between the two. There are many significant things that you should know about both of these feelings and emotions.
What is Love?
Many psychologists and professionals have used various techniques and methods of their fields to study the concept of love by focusing on various personal attributes, styles, and attachments. When we say romantic love, then it comprises three main components; intimacy, caring, and attachment.
In simple words, love is desiring and wanting to be with someone, taking care of happiness and well-being, and sharing your thoughts and concerns. As Dr. Benton says;
“Love happens when a relationship has evolved into mutual understanding and caring. With love, people are focused on fostering each other’s well-being and nurturing the relationship. It can be less exciting than lust or infatuation, but it lasts.”
Love doesn’t have emotional height like infatuation, and this limited emotional height can be difficult to manage for some people in a long-term relationship. You can say that the desire about the relationship and the other person becomes less passionate. It’s normal when you become comfortable with your relationship. Passionate love usually stays earlier in the relationship.
Sexual intimacy increases and decreases in any healthier relationship from time to time. Sometimes, it’s a healthy sign that the infatuation reduces, and a caring attitude, realistic love, and sincerity take its position.
Signs of Love
Not scared to be Vulnerable
Many experts and professionals say that vulnerability is the main element of love and relationship. You can openly share your deepest feelings and vulnerabilities when you’re in love and feel safe and secure in the company of your partner.
Want them by your side
Whenever you plan for traveling and vacation, then you can’t imagine enjoying it without the other person. You want them to accompany you to the upcoming event. In short, the happy moments that are meaningful and important to you, you want to share with them.
You’re upset when they’re sad
If your beloved person is going through a difficult time, and you’re feeling their suffering just like yours. It means that the emotional well-being of both partners is linked with each other.
What is Lust?
Lust is different than love and it’s absolutely normal biological and physical feelings. According to Dr. Benton;
“Lust is purely wanting sexual contact, and this is largely selfish with little thought or regard for the other person’s well-being.” He further says “Lust exists on a continuum, you certainly have an initial attraction to people you don’t know. Sometimes we have a little attraction, sometimes more. Sometimes the attraction is immediate, other times it builds after we get to know someone.”
When you’ve lustful feelings towards the other person, it doesn’t mean that you love them. Since lusting comprises sexual attraction and physical, then you can easily observe the lustful feelings in and out of the relationship. However, when people say that they fall in love at first sight, then they’re simply talking about lustful attraction.
Signs of Lust
Enjoy Spending Time with them, but no further
If you like and enjoy spending time with them and their company, but don’t feel like introducing them to your friends and family members, and don’t want to share the important moment of your life with them. It means that your connection is only physical and sexual, and love isn’t a part of it.
The text you on Bad Day, You Don’t Want to Know
If they call and text you to talk about their bad day, and you avoid them and don’t want to know about their worries. Your focus is only getting physically closer and starts making out, then experts say that it’s not love, just a lustful attraction.
You feel butterflies when you kiss them, your heartbeat gets double when they hold your hands, and you have a strong sexual and physical craving for them. There are main signs of lustful feelings.
What is Infatuation?
Infatuation is a relevant concept and it’s the in-between state of loving and lusting. It’s the fun stage earlier in the relationship that people experience before the revelation of the hard truth of life. According to Dr. Benton;
“Infatuation occurs early in the relationship and is sometimes called the Velcro stage. With infatuation, you tend to idealize the other person and are very wrapped up in a shallow understanding of the other person. Infatuation can bring people together, but it rarely keeps people together.”
Do you feel Love & Lust at the Same Time?
You can’t develop lust immediately, but it’s probable to establish intimacy. The sexual and physical desire would go up and down in the long-term relationship. Therefore, it’s significant that the partners should keep the relationship alive and vibrant in various ways.
The start of any relationship is fun because the lovers are getting to know the information and learning the nature of each other. Many professionals and experts suggest that the partners and lovers should give each other time to nurture their relationship. However, when partners give them time, they don’t necessarily learn new things in the long term, but accompanying each other and giving time allows them to develop a deeper level of understanding and intimacy.
The objective of any relationship is to be open and honest with your partner in order to establish trust and strengthen the bond. It is exciting when partners explore new things and build a deeper level of connection.
How to Express Such Feelings
If you want to share your feelings and express your love to your partner, and you’re in a position to do so, then you should go for it. The concern about fear of rejection is real, but expressing your love is equally important.
However, if you want to share and express your lustful feelings to the other person, then do it honestly. After telling the other person about your feelings and desires, next, you should wait for their consent.
If you’re in a committed relationship, and you’ve developed lustful feelings towards someone else, then you should tell the truth to your partner if it’s possible. So that both of you could work together in order to find some solution.
Conclusion: What is the Difference between Love and Lust? – Signs
After an in-depth study of what is difference between love and lust; signs, and how to express your feelings, we’ve realized that both types of feelings are natural. It can be difficult at times to express your true feelings and emotions, but you should prefer honesty and truth overlying and playing games.
Ahsan is an accomplished researcher and has a deep insight in worldly life affairs. He goes Live 3 days a week on various social media platforms. Other than research writing, he’s a very interesting person.