It’s the desire of many people to settle down in life with the right partner and they want a committed relationship. On the other hand, a vast majority of romantic relationships result in the form of break up and dissolution. Today, we’ll discuss why relationships fail, and their top reasons.
Why Relationships Fail – Top Reasons
As we’re aware of the fact that every relationship is unique and different; when people get together in a relationship, then many factors are at play. There could be a number of reasons for the dissolution of a relationship; some of the tops reasons why relationships fail are as follows;
Losing trust is one of the most harmful elements for the sustainability of the relationship in the long term. When there’s no trust, the relationship won’t have two main bonding features; safety and security. However, trust issues could rise up in the relationship due to a number of factors;
- Not mutually supported goals
- Limited financial compatibility
- No emotional support towards each other
- Not reliability or dependability
- Playing games in the relationship
- Cheating and infidelity
- Emotional infidelity
- Unreasonable rigidity
If you’re a history of trust issues in the relationship, then you should study the pattern. It’s because of the broken promises, jealousy without any reason, or subjective emotions. You should be honest to yourself while analyzing the cause of the trust; whether it’s due to unreasonable fear or tangible substance.
Living together with someone in the journey of life isn’t easy and it’s highly challenging. The thing that has attracted two people towards each other like socio-economic background, personal connections, common interests, sexual passion, or physical attraction; would fade away when the day-to-day reality sets in. The expectations of partners would change over time in the relationship, and their focus is on “what I want” rather than “what we want.”
As Mark Twain said;
“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be to their option.”
Mr. /Ms. Right All the Time
Does your partner remain Mr. or Ms. Right all the time? You should also check the seriousness of your partner in terms of long-term commitment in the relationship.
Partners and couples have different priorities and expectations in the relationship. For instance, developing a family is the center of attention of one partner, and the other partner would have a goal of a romantic relationship. There are many other factors that don’t bring partners on the same page.
Moving in Different Speed
One of the couples is moving, growing, and learning new things, while the other partner remains stagnant in one place. For instance, one couple is growing in their career and advancing in society, and the other couple just sits at home and does nothing. It would result in the form of social and professional divergence between partners, and they start differentiating themselves socially, intellectually, and physically.
Relationship compatibility among partners is serious and worth discussing the subject. Many people have discussed this topic in length from various perspectives like compatibility in terms of attachment style, personality type compatibility, and intimacy compatibility.
Problems in communication are one of the top reasons for breakup and divorce among partners in the relationship. Dr. John Gottman has been studying couples and partners for the past twenty years at the University of Washington, he said that partners would divorce when they have contempt towards each other in the relationship.
Contempt is contrary to respect; it means sarcasm about the worth of the other partner, criticism, and negative judgment. Many communication studies have shown that people are soft on this issue while being very tough people. Contemptuous communication is like a poison that destroys the well-being of any type of relationship.
NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) is a mental condition when a person has a deep sense of admiration and self-importance. If one of the partners has NPD, then true intimacy won’t develop in the relationship.
Narcissistic partners have the attitude of contempt towards the other person, negative emotions, selfishness, rule-breaking, irresponsible, manipulation, Don Juan syndrome, false charm, boundary violation, conceit, entitlement, great self-image, and superiority complex. Narcissistic partners would tend to cheat and commit infidelity.
Relational abuse means when one partner mistreats the other partner in the relationship. Some of the other forms of relational abuse are sexual, physical, or emotional abuse, excessive control and dominance, pathological passive-aggressiveness, narcissism, and pathological manipulation.
Life Habit Abuse
Life habit abuse could be an addiction, gambling, sexual addiction, and other bad habits that would indirectly make the life of the other partner a living hell. It doesn’t involve direct abuse like relational abuse discussed above, and it would badly impact the relationship in a destructive way.
If you’re involved in a relationship, and both are growing separately in different directions due to any reason like no compatibility, different expectations, mistakes in finding a partner, or lack of commitment.
If it’s a long-term relationship, then other responsibilities are getting in the way of partners like taking care of children, work, school, or profession. It’s like “empty nest” syndrome when children grow old and leave home, then couples feel like a stranger to each other. It’s because they haven’t focused on each other for a long term, and they forget to connect with each other as an individual.
When partners are together for a very long time, then financial compatibility becomes a major issue. Studies have shown financial problems are the main reason for divorce among long married couples. However, fights due to financial and monetary problems trigger the deepest psychological needs, fear, survival, control, power, security, safety, and limited trust.
Conclusion: Why Relationships Fail – Top Reasons
After an in-depth study of why relationships fail; and its top reasons; we’ve realized that every relationship is different and various factors impact them. If you want to build a healthy long-term relationship, then you should keep in mind the abovementioned reasons and avoid these things.
Ahsan is an accomplished researcher and has a deep insight in worldly life affairs. He goes Live 3 days a week on various social media platforms. Other than research writing, he’s a very interesting person.